Scum of the Earth
by CocoaMcDirty
Summary: An escaped Irken prisoner crash lands on Earth and seeks refuge at Zim's base, eager return to The Massive for mixed reasons. Zim gets another step closer at enslaving the Earth and Dib is conflicted with life changing decisions. *terrible at summaries*
1. Prologue: Intruder

**Author Notes: **

****Hey! So first let me thank you for reading. I do hope you enjoy my story and review. Critique is also always welcome with reason of course.****

****Now, I would just like to clear a couple things up. This story is not just flashbacks. (You'll see at the end of the prologue and most of Chapter 1.) This is merely to bring the reader up to speed with a main character and the plot which will thicken a whole lot with time I promise.****

****LET ME ASSURE YOU THAT THIS STORY IS NOT JUST CENTERED AROUND AN OC. I get so frustrated with the same bland, OC stories (not that I'm saying they all are, but you know what I'm saying) so I'm hoping to twist this around a little bit and be just a little different. I do have some surprises in store for later chapters****

****I'm not quite sure what genre I'm going to keep this under yet as I have plans for a little bit of everything. This is kind of serious right now, but it will have lighthearted moments as well so keep an open mind.****

****Rating is subject to change from rated T to M****

"Who are you! Why are you here? What have you done with my robot bee?" Lifeless eyes fell upon Zim as he struggled against his own house's security.

"I know what you are Zim. I know why you're here and where you're from." The figure walked toward him and carefully pulled the crude black wig from off his head.

"Release the Zim now!"

"No. Just listen to why I'm here." Zim continued to claw at the robotic tentacles wrapped around his body as his captor drew a short breath. "I'm an Irken, Zim." At those words, Zim froze and he took a good long look at the alien in front of him. Her sickly white body looked worn and abused. There were scratches and scars visible through the rips of her tattered clothes. Faint speckles covered her shoulders as a result of prolonged and concentrated heat damage. Her large faded red eyes were sullen and tired.

"There is no way anything like you could be…Irken! Now I demand you release me!"

"No! And you're not going to be released until you understand why I'm here." She turned around and connected her now revealed PAK to the house computer which began to display her information and memories.

"My name is…or at least was Invader Scun and I need your base to regain what were once mine and more." Zim's mouth dropped as hundreds of unbelievable events flashed before his eyes.

_And so begins the flashback of doom._


	2. 1: The Flashback of Doom

"I didn't start out assigned as an invader." The pale alien began, "My short stature is the curse that had the control brain decide I was best fitted to be a table-headed service drone. I spent years serving taller, higher class Irkens, entertaining them as they would knock me down and watch me have to clean everything up and start over again. It was humiliating. During this time, however, I was training to be an elite Irken invader. After years of training, I passed all of my physical and written examinations and was invited to The Great Assigning to receive my target planet information. When the Almighty Tallest called me forth, they took one look of my shameful height and assigned me to Sirus Minor, well known for its unbearable temperatures and ruthless inhabitants. Of course, they were no match for my superior Irken intellect. With my faithful SIR unit, Weaver, we blended in, created a massive civil war, and attacked the planet at its weakest moment. The planet is now used as an Irken detention and labor facility." Scun looked towards Zim, who grew more and more confused.

"But why did you come here? This is not your mission! I…"

"Please just let me continue. I spent a few years ruling over the planet and made sure everything ran smoothly. When the Irken construction was complete, I returned to The Massive along with a handful of other successful invaders. From there it was brought to our immediate attention of Invader Tenn's failure at Meekrob. The Tallest needed an exceptional invader to disable the malfunctioning SIR units that were sent to the planet, recover whatever they could from the ruins of Invader Tenn's base as well as continue the mission undetected. Cocky with my already successful conquest at Sirus Minor, I quickly accepted the mission. With the Meekrobs' defenses already worn thin and the high fatalities, it seemed an easy enough job. But, despite everything, my cover was blown in mere days. The Meekrobs captured and tortured me in hopes of learning where the Massive was and any other Irken secrets they could find and use in their hopes of overthrowing us. The tests I endured were unmatched in cruelty. Whatever it was they did to me, it caused my body to slowly deteriorate and discolor to what you can see now. But we all knew they would gain no knowledge from me."

"Inferior simpletons." Zim spat. "Besides, there is no way to destroy the Irken Empire." Scun nodded in agreement.

"Of course. Now, as the Meekrobs transported Weaver to be deactivated and destroyed, he activated his self destruct which bought me just enough time to escape. I commandeered a ship and returned to The Massive empty handed. The Tallest, who barely even recognized me due to my new skin pigmentation, declared me a defective, demoted me to manual labor and had me shipped away to Sirus Minor immediately."

Scun stopped and took a deep breath. "I toiled on my own conquered planet for years. But… it wasn't until I met a young Vortian worker that I truly realized how my life had been stolen from me. We worked together, sharing stories to pass the time. Something tells me had he realized I was an Irken; we would not have gotten along as well as we did. Oh that puny Vortian mind of his. Nonetheless, I knew I needed to escape that infernal place. Garb, the Vortian prisoner of war, was a brilliant scientist and when I had earned his trust, he brought me to his escape pod he had been constructing during the night. We had been anticipating its completion and the night we were waiting for arrived, we put the finishing touches on the escape pod and began to power it on. But, somewhere along the lines we had been compromised and the Irken guards blitz attacked us. Garb pushed me into the escape pod and set its coordinates for the farthest planet it could detect and sent me off without him. In that split second, I witnessed the Irken guards gore him from the inside out. It was rather gruesome, but you have to give them credit. It does persuade prisoners not to run away."

"This story is beginning to bore Zim. I demand to know why you are here!"

"You're right, I've explained enough. Zim, my escape pod dropped me off here, to this infernal planet you call Earth. I lived in the woods, hiding and observing the life forms here so that I could learn to blend in. It was when I happened upon that learning facility _Skool_ and I saw you exiting it that I knew I could eventually leave this place. You see Zim, all of the Irkens know you were banished here…"

"BANISHED? No, I am Invader Zim! Invader! I am here under the direct order of the Almighty Tallest to serve this disgusting dirt ball to them in the name of the Irken Empire!" Scun frowned, but continued anyway.

"Fine, my point is I wish to return to The Massive and reclaim my rightful Invader title. I also wish to seek my revenge on the Meekrobs and turn their beloved planet into my own personal throne room."

"And what makes you think I would help you with this?"

"Well, think about it. If I was able to sneak in here with little to no supplies, bug your home base and capture you, imagine what I can do now with all your weapons and supplies at my hands." Zim paused thoughtfully for a moment.

"Alright, you may use my base facilities as long as you don't get in the way of my mission and promise me the return of my robot bee."

"Fine. But try anything funny and I will destroy you." Scun disconnected her PAK from the house and disabled the security system. Zim quickly fell to the floor and stretched out his numb limbs. He glared at Scun, snatched his wig back, brushed himself off and retreated into the toilet elevator and lowered himself down into his underground base. Just as quickly as Zim disappeared, GIR, his eccentric SIR unit, flew past Scun and out the window on Zim's prized robot bee, laughing manically. Scun stumbled and coughed from the violent dust cloud he left in his tracks and fell head first into the same toilet Zim had disappeared into.

"I think I'm going to be sick!"


	3. 2: There's no Place like the Base

Zim stared at his computer, mumbling to himself when he heard a large thud. He sat down a sphere shaped object he had been working on and walked over to the elevator.

"You know, most Irkens use the elevator standing up." Zim looked down as Scun laid on the ground with an annoyed look on her face.

"Don't start with me."

Scun used her spider legs to stand up and brushed herself off. She walked past Zim and started scanning the room intently.

"What are you doing?" Zim asked

"Where do you keep your Zoot Cruiser? Oh and weaponry, I will require some of that before I leave." Zim looked at her, and then let out a laugh that echoed throughout the base.

"I have nothing I can spare for you. I need every last one of my ingenious inventions for when I take over the Earth." Scun grimaced and crossed her arms.

"I don't want to fight you for it Zim… But surely we can come to some sort of compromise here." Zim looked thoughtfully and snapped his gloved fingers.

"I, the brilliant Zim, have an idea. You see I am in need of a more competent slave to help me with my total domination of this planet. An Irken slave would be much more beneficial to my enslaving the human race."

"That is so demeaning." Scun scowled. "Besides, I don't think you understand I need to get back as soon as possible."

"And the only way you can accomplish this is with my equipment."

"Partners?" Scun tried to reason.

"Servant?"

"Team?"

"Serf?"

"Comrades?

"Peon?"

The fighting slowly morphed into an all out brawl the second Zim suggested table-headed service drone. Two in pain Irkens and half a blown up base later, both came to a truce and agreed on mutual partnership until one proves superior to the other. Scun walked over and grabbed one of her gloves that flew off during the fight.

"Alright, so it's settled. We'll conquer this planet and then you will give me the supplies I need to leave here and return to The Massive."

"Yes and you can bring a human slave as a gift to the Tallest as well as inform them of my success."

The two nodded to each other. Scun walked over to Zim's computer and started typing.

"What are you doing?" Zim nearly screamed.

"Would you relax? First of all, I need to change out of the destroyed clothes I have on. Second, if I'm going to live here, I'm going to have to blend in. Something you do a terrible job of."

"WHAT? My disguise is perfect."

"Your disguise consists of contacts and a wig."

"Perfect."

"Well as perfect as it is, I'm going to make some minor tweaks for mine."

Scun scanned through the different options, paying close attention to detail to both her new Irken clothes and her human disguise. When she was finished, she walked into the pod which began to glow and shake. When she walked out, her skin was a modest tan. The dark brown freckles on her shoulders stuck out on her skin. Her short hair was messy and bright red. She wore a loose white button up shirt that occasionally hung off her shoulders and red tartan pants that draped over her black boots. She looked over to Zim with dark brown, almost black eyes.

"You look…"

"Yes?"

"Still hideous."

"Thanks for that Zim."

"You're welcome."

"So…tell me about this planet. Surely I couldn't have learned everything from just watching in the woods."

"Well, I should at least brief you on their Skool facilities and the enemies we must watch out for. Last thing I need is you blowing my cover with your ignorance. First, let me warn you of the Dib-Stink." Zim went on to warn her on the poisonous food, not to touch water unless covered in glue, the evil dog, and the vast dangers of the planet. "If you can get through that, you will be fine."

"I miss Irk already."

"Yes, yes. Now go. I have much work to do." Zim shooed her away and returned to his computer.

Scun left and took the elevator up out of the lab and back into the house. Her antennae twitched as she smelled an unfamiliar and pungent scent. Looking around the house, she wandered into the kitchen where a small green dog had laid out countless plates of fried chicken each covered with some questionable looking dipping sauces. She walked into the room and sat down.

"GIR, what are those?" GIR perked up at hearing his name and grabbed the plate, plopping it in front of Scun.

"EAT IT!"

"What? No! I just want to know wha…" As he heard no, GIR's eyes began to water and he began to wail.

"CHICKKEENN LEEEGGS"

"Wait wait shhhh!" Scun tried to quiet him, but to no avail. He started pounding a greasy chicken leg against her stomach and face until she finally gave in. "Okay, okay!" She snatched the chicken and poked it multiple times. She held it close to her mouth and looked over to GIR, who gave her thumbs up.

Scun closed her eyes as she took a bite. "This…isn't so bad." She continued to chew it as GIR began to roll around on the floor.

* * *

Zim chuckled menacingly, looking at his nearly finished creation.

"Soon, you will be completed! Never before has there been a Megadoomer Combat Stealth Mech that didn't require a power supply. Be wary pitiful humanoids. Your planet will someday be MINE." He had been working on a new plan where he could use the improved battle mech to finally destroy Dib and enslave the entire planet. The idea had come to him when he stumbled on the giant plug that was used on the previous Megadoomer. GIR had taken it, hollowed it out and kept it as a kennel for his dangerously rabid beavers.

"Who are you talking to?" The house computer asked with no real intention of receiving a legitimate reply.

"SILENCE." Zim cried out. He extended his robot spider legs and crawled up the battle mech. He examined it closely and just as he began to carefully install the first missile into the first missile cannon, the house shook violently. He immediately lost balance and fell, causing the missile he had dropped to detonate.

"COMPUTER! What was that?" Zim shrieked, licking his fingers to put out the tiny fire on his antenna.

"I…"

"Never mind. I will go check the upstairs damage, you clean the base." Zim fumed, taking another look at the mess before him. "It will take another couple weeks to get that mech back to where it was!" He took the elevator and stepped out, immediately stepping in colorful goo. "GIR! Come here!"

"Yes, my master!"

"What happened here?"

"An asplosion!"

"How did it happen GIR?"

"I doooonn't know." Zim stared at the little robot. GIR began to shift and laugh nervously until he couldn't keep it in any longer. He jumped on Zim's face and hugged it violently as he started crying.

"It's Scun! She exploded!" Zim looked around the room, and saw Scun laying on the floor, her tongue lying limp on the side of her mouth, her eyes wide open, and her belly blown open in the most gruesome manner. Zim, not making any change in facial expressions, slapped GIR off of him, walked over to the body, grabbed her by the wrist, and dragged her back into the lab.

Once in the lab, which the computer had already completely cleaned, Zim lifted Scun up onto a table. He looked into her stomach and pulled out little wedges of chicken and bone that could not be properly digested. He raised his hand and the computer gave him a glove which acted as a medical laser. He quickly closed her belly, rejuvenated the skin, and turned her PAK back on.

Scun immediately sat up in shock, and took a deep breath. Looking around, she noticed she was again in Zim's base. She slowly began to recall what happened and looked down at her stomach, poking it.

"That horrible demon bird!"

"You have now been properly warned. Do not eat the food here and do not eat it at the horrible Skool tomorrow."

"Those…meats of evil!" Scun twitched a little, and then collected her composure. She turned her disguise back on which had turned off. She then looked over to GIR, who was sitting on the floor, playing with the bright silver pendent that had flown off her when she exploded. She quickly took it back and replaced it with a large metal gear that had been laying around so GIR would not notice the change. "Well Zim, I'll be going back upsta urk…" Zim grabbed her by the collar.

"Oh no, your little game has cost me my battle mech, so you will stay down here and help me build it until it is completely finished."

"Oh, it's pretty." Scun observed.

"Yeees, very pretty. Now come on, we have much work to do before we leave for Skool."

"Why do we have to go to that again?"

"We attend there to keep up our appearances as horrible dirt children."

"Ah."

"Yes, now let's get to work."


	4. 3: First is the Worst

The sun began to rise as Zim checked the clock.

"Scun! We are leaving now."

"Alright, alright. I'm coming." Scun jumped off the top of the still damaged mech and followed behind Zim. "Do we bring GIR?"

"No, GIR stays here and watches the base. We go this alone."

"But…if we go together, technically we're not alone."

"Silence, you're proving to be more irritating than GIR."

The two Irkens left the base and walked along the sidewalk to skool. Scun looked around with a sort of glisten in her eye. "This is the first time I've gotten to look at this planet without worrying about being seen."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, it's still awful." Her face dropped.

"Yes."

The two walked the rest of the way in silence. Scun observed all the curious things about the planet around her. They eventually reached the Skool building where many children began crowding the walkways to enter.

"They all look so strange…So different from one another." Scun stated. Zim was busy fiddling with a small electronic device to notice. "What are you doing?"

"I'm enrolling you in this facility. They keep records of all the children who go here."

"And you can do that with just that tiny little device?"

"Human technology is very primitive compared to Irken technology. An Irken Smeet could hack into their systems."

"If they are so primitive, how come you have not taken them over by now?" Zim completely ignored the question and put his things back into his PAK.

The skool bell rang and Scun followed Zim into the classroom. As Zim sat down, Scun looked around the room and stared at all the blank faces in the classroom. She stood there dumbfounded until a tall, elderly woman slithered into the classroom.

"Class, we have a new student today. You have exactly thirty seconds to speak. Choose wisely because you will not be allowed to again."

"Hello, I am a normal Earth boyy…" Zim looked at her and shook his head subtlety.

"Girl! I am Scun and…"

"Wait, did you seriously just guess on your own gender?" A blue haired student asked.

"Yeah! Which are you anyway?" The students began laughing and pointing uncontrollably until Miss Bitters stood up and glared at the class, causing them to quiet down.

"Scun! Since we are out of desks, this will be your seat until one can be provided for you." Miss Bitters picked Scun up by her head and placed her inside the garbage can that sat by the door.

"But…This is a garbage can."

"Be quiet or you'll be sent to the new underground skool."

"It smells of feet in here." She whispered.

"Now class, if you will all open your textbooks to page two thousand, one hundred, and fifty…"

Scun sat listening to the muffled preaching of the teacher from within her new desk. The class continued for what felt like days until the bell finally rang. All the skool kids ran off in a frenzied crowd to get out of the room anyway they could. Scun crawled out of the garbage can and sprayed herself with a cleansing gas after being submerged in filth for so long. She walked out of the room that everyone had already left and stepped outside. She looked around and saw that Zim had already disappeared.

"Crap…which way was his base again?" She looked around and saw a black haired boy preparing to walk home. "Wait! Excuse me!"

"Me?" The boy turned around.

"Yeah, hey, can I ask…whoa."

"What?"

"Your head.."

"Oh not this again."

"It's beautiful!"

"It's not, wait what?" Scun stood uncomfortably close and began touching his face and playing with his long scythe-like hair. "What is wrong with you?" He slapped her hand away, beginning to walk away.

"Wait! I'm sorry. I'm new and I'm from…a different country! Yes! My customs are a little different and I apologize. I'm Scun."

"It's fine. I'm Dib. I had this weird feeling you were just going to make fun of my head."

"Why would I do that?"

"I honestly have no idea."

"You're strange."

"That's a lot coming from the boy or girl who was just playing with my face."

"Touché." Scun paused for a moment. "Hold up! For your information, I have already confirmed with you and all our classmates that I am in fact a girl."

"I'm kidding. I know nerves make people say and do stupid things."

"I do not get nervous!"

"Sure. Anyway, you came over here to ask me something. What was it?"

"Right! It seems our classmate Zim has left his…half eaten apple at school and I would like to return it to him." Dib grabbed her arms in shock.

"Scun! Of all the kids at this skool, do not trust that one!" Scun raised a brow at this.

"How come?"

"He is an alien. Now before you go telling me how bogus that is…"

"So," Scun cuts him off. "You think Zim is an alien, does anyone else believe you?"

"Well…no but…"

"Then I have no reason to believe you either."

"Wait! Look, if I tell you where the house is, will you just listen to me?

"…Fine."

"But! Wait, really?"

"Yeah, sure go ahead."

Dib got an excited look in his eyes and pulled multiple pictures and files out of his backpack. He rambled on about not only Zim being an alien, but other paranormal oddities and how he would soon uncover more about these wondrous creatures.

"What I do not understand here is, if you know so much, how come no one else listens to you and you feel obliged to take me, a complete stranger to talk to about these interesting findings?"

"You're definitely not from around here. The fact that I haven't heard you call me crazy at all is bizarre."

"Well, I promise you I am most definitely normal where I'm from."

"Somehow I doubt that. But it's okay. Maybe if you are still interested, you can come over another day and I can show you more?"

"Does this mean you're going to give me the address now?"

"Yeah, sure. That's fine." Dib sighed, writing down Zim's home address.

"You have saved me so many hours searching on the streets! Thank you! I'll be sure to watch out for his alien-ness and deliver this apple safely." Dib shrugged off her strange behavior, understanding what it was like to be judged for being different. He turned around and left to return home. Scun looked down and input the address into her PAK and followed the directions home. The sun began to go down since Scun had already wasted too much time outside of school.

"Crap, I need to get to the base before it becomes completely pitch black." Scun thought as she began to walk a little faster. She turned another corner, bumping into people on the sidewalk. As it became darker, the streetlights above began to turn on and the buildings became bright from the lights within them. She stopped and rubbed her eyes, careful not to remove her contacts. "It's so bright! Curse these Earth lights!" Scun stopped for a moment and allowed her vision to come back into focus. She blinked and looked around. "Huh, this planet isn't so bad at night. It's almost tolerable." She continued on and watched the nightlife awaken in front of her. Clubs with bright lights began opening, people in strange clothes began walking the streets, and the cars zipped along the streets creating a flush of color. She looked up at the sky to see the moon illuminated above her. "What a strange rock. I think I'll build a pool on that one day. Maybe I'll even put a snack bar on it." Scun closed her eyes and mused about all the things she would do when she was a respectable invader again. She opened her eyes again and stopped to take in the night atmosphere when she felt something press against her back.

"Come with me before I put a bullet in your back."

"A bullet? Whatever it is, it sounds like something I'd prefer not lodged into my backside."

"Don't smart mouth me bitch! Now come on!" The mysterious figure pushed Scun forward until they found into a dark alley where she promptly turned around to see who was pushing her around. He was tall and ragged looking. His dark hair was already starting to turn gray although he looked no older than thirty five. He had a musky smell that reeked of whiskey and cigarettes, masked over with pungent and cheap cologne. Scun gagged the second he stepped near.

"I do not know this bitch person of which you speak of. I am Scun!"

"Shut up!" He fired a shot into her shoulder and grabbed her. Scun yelled in surprise and pain as she tried to hold her oozing arm.

"Sir, if you do not unhand me, I will force you off me." The man laughed in a drunken delirium and ignored her demands. He tucked his gun into his loose fitting jeans and slowly started to unbutton her shirt. Confused, Scun tried to pry herself free. When she couldn't do so, she activated her spider legs and pinned him to the ground. "You are a threat to my mission and a disgusting piece of human filth." The man wanted to scream, but was afraid of the repercussions of his previous actions. Scun took out an organ stealing device out of her PAK and placed it on the offensive human. "Let's see if you can still function without your brain." Scun grabbed a crumpled up soda can and replaced his brain with the can. He began to convulse and then remained perfectly still. He stood up with a vacant expression and continued on his way. She took the brain out of her out of her organ stealing device and plopped it into a nearby dumpster. "He's lucky I didn't obliterate him completely for attacking me like that." She sighed, brushing herself off and continuing on her way.

* * *

Scun pushed the door to Zim's base open where she was greeted by the robo parents. She walked past GIR who was making a house of cards and down into the underground base. She turned off her disguise and activated her spider legs and walked over to Zim, who was sitting at the top of his battle mech. At that moment, as he was welding the metals together, she gave Zim a large slap to the face.

"What was that for slave?"" Zim demanded.

"You left me at that forsaken skool facility with no directions on how to get back where I fraternized with that Dib human, who has already made you out to be an alien, then left me in the dark to find your base, got attacked by some putrid adult human, almost hit by those speeding car things, and attacked by an angry dog that lives in the neighborhood." Scun took a deep breath. "AND DON'T CALL ME SLAVE!"

Zim paused for a moment, and then laughed a sheepish laugh. This earned Scun another look of confusion.

"Very good, Scun. It appears you are worthy of being my partner. I warned you Earth is a dangerous place and now that you have experienced the worst of it first hand, you can quickly grasp how we will destroy it." Scun looked unamused. Zim put down his tools and looked over to Scun's shoulder. He went silent.

"What happened again?"

"A lot of things."

"Did the Dib human do that?"

"No, he merely talked. He appeared rather…friendly. Some strange older human did this."

"I see." Zim grabbed her arm and scanned her shoulder. He plucked the bullet out and the house computer sealed the wound. "Be more careful."

"It would have been easier if you didn't leave me alone my first day." Zim shrugged it off and looked back at his creation.

"We need to get working. I have since thought it out and once we finish this, we will also need a mech for you to control as well as some modifications for GIR."

"Fine, let me go grab a couple things before I start." Scun walked off and Zim tapped his fingers thoughtfully against the metal.

"I didn't really mean to leave you there, you idiot." He shivered, thinking back to his first time alone on Earth and then shook it off, continuing his work.


	5. 4: When Life Gives you Lemons

Dib woke up earlier than usually on a bright Saturday morning. His sister Gaz was still in bed and his dad, Professor Membrane had been called into work late into the night to help save the world from impending doom. He walked into the kitchen, grabbed some bread and popped it into the new Toaster Extreme 5000 that his dad had modified. Within three seconds, the toast blasted out of the toaster straight into Dib's face. The impact caused him to fall down while the toaster itself had caught on fire and exploded.

"Why can't we have normal appliances around here?" He whined, picking up the toast and placing it on a plate. While eating, he grabbed a cup of orange juice and took a few sips before setting everything down. He bent over and opened a cupboard, searching intently. He finally found a container that was labeled "Id's Food" and pulled it out. He took a small scoop of the tiny pellets and poured it into a little bowl. Dib walked back upstairs, into his room and shut the door.

"Id! Come on, I have breakfast." He waited, but with no response. "Come on Id, stop hiding. I hate these games." Dib complained. As he searched, two little eyes peered out from under one of his jackets he had thrown on the ground the day before. "You know Id, if you keep these games up, you're going back in the kenne…AH!" At that moment, a small black Lionhead rabbit jumped up and pounced on Dib.

Dib laughed as the little rabbit made a terrified almost weeping face at the thought of the kennel. He picked up his small pet and brushed back her long grayish blue mane. He had found Id months ago while on an excursion to find Bigfoot. While camping through the woods, Dib was freezing and trying to set up a campfire. When he had given up, he had turned around to grab a Paranormal Activity Weekly magazine. When he had turned around again, he saw his campfire completely lit and the small rabbit sitting next to it, warming itself up. Although Dib had never found Bigfoot, he at least returned home with the discovery of a fire breathing rabbit. After multiple tests he decided the rabbit had a type of dragon blood running through its veins. However, before he could turn Id in for further testing, he had grown too attached to her to give her away.

"This blend is made with milk and real caterpillars." Dib sat on his bed and watched Id as she devoured the food he had brought for her. Dib sat on his bed and pulled out a book of notes and speculations he had kept. The old weathered book was filled to the brim with pictures and research about the various paranormal oddities he had encountered. As Id finished eating, she played in Dib's lap and gently nibbled on the edge of his blue shirt. Dib flipped to his notes on the Irken armada and Zim in particular. "I don't get it Id; everything is so obvious to me. Why can no one else see that he is an alien?" Id looked up with Dib, imitating his facial expressions. Dib leaned back on his pillows and picked Id up. "Am I weird?" Id made a blank face and huffed out a ring of smoke. "Yeah you're right. You are definitely the wrong rabbit to ask."

Dib stood up and changed out of his pajamas and into his usual blue shirt with the blank face on it, black pants, as well as his black boots and coat. He placed Id in the kennel to which she openly whined about, grabbed his camera, and started heading out.

"Also, don't try to burn the kennel this time. It's made out of a flame retardant material and you'll just tire yourself out." Id just sat there annoyed as he left.

* * *

"So Zim, can you go over this plan of yours to take over the humans?" Scun asked as she buffed out some dents on the upgraded Megadoomer.

"Of course. You see, once my great Megadoomer is complete… I will get in it, blow things up and become lord of all humans!"

"…That's it. That's your great plan?"

"Yes, what are you, hard of hearing?"

"No, I can hear fine… It's just that.."

"Yeesss?"

"It's just that it feels like there should be more to it." As Scun said this, Zim immediately gained a look of shock.

"What? No! My plan will not fail! Why? What do you think we should do?"

"Well for starters, we should make a couple more of these. That way instead of everyone crowding inside one Megadoomer like one big target, we could spread out and destroy more in much less time. We could make one of these for you, myself, GIR…"

"There is _NO_ way GIR can be trusted with one of these."

"UNLESS we tie a taco on the front of his Megadoomer, fill it with things he likes, and tell him if he listens to us, we will cook him all the disgusting meat snacks he could eat." Zim contemplated Scun's reasons and motioned for her to continue. "Okay, well think about it. Once we have control over GIR and his focus somewhat retained, that will be three unstoppable Megadoomers that can defend one another. We could also try building them with jet boosters on the bottom so we can jump higher and hover for extended periods of time. There are hundreds of possibilities to ensure victory."

"Yes, but that would take five times as long."

"Does it really matter, Zim? With how long you've been here, I'm sure you have time to spare to be absolutely positive of our success."

"Your disgusting looks are deceiving from your intellect."

"Hey! Watch it; I'm very self conscious about my skin condition."

"It is rather gruesome."

"You're not helping Zim." Zim just shrugged the conversation off and continued fixing his Megadoomer. "Hey, you know this wouldn't take so long if we had an extra pair of hands."

"Are you insane? Having hands around the base would be messy and we'd trip over all of those severed body parts…just lying everywhere."

"That's not what I meant. What I'm saying is that human Dib obviously has more brains than most of the inhabitants on this pathetic planet."

"That hardly means anything."

"True, but when he had showed me the pictures and data he had just lying in his backpack, I dawned on me it took stealth and considerable technology to collect such research." Zim's face went dark when he started to understand Scun's point.

"What? No! Have you the brain worms? There is NO way that Dib-stink will ever come near this base as long as I have anything to say about it. He is the enemy and he will always be the enemy."

"Listen to me Zim. He is an outcast, much like us. If we really tried, I believe we could persuade him to help us destroy this planet."

"No amount of persuasion could ever…"

"Zim. Surely you've seen how he has been treated after spending so much time on this disgusting rock of a planet. Not only this, he is tortured by his own species."

"If they are anything like the Irkens, they understand that loyalty no matter wha…"

"But that's the thing! He's not an Irken. He's a human. He can be manipulated to believe otherwise. You of all people should understand their inferior chemical makeup."

Zim stood proudly for a moment but then looked to Scun with a quizzical look on his face. "But what will we do with him after we're done? What if he turns on us?"

"Then it'll be three against one and we will eliminate him completely. Do you think Dib would really have a chance against us?"

Zim grinned at the thought of his enemy cowering under his laser cannon. "Yes, I like this plan more and more."

"As you should. But there is another thing. I can build his trust, since he still thinks I am a human being. I cannot be seen associating with you when he is around."

"Yes. I understand. But you do realize he will eventually have to learn you work for me."

"You mean that we're partners."

"Whatever."

"You know, by the end of this I will teach you to respect me.

"Sorry, I wasn't listening to you." Zim waved his hand is a dismissing manner and called GIR to give him a wrench. Scun just growled under her breath and put her work tools down. She jumped down and walked over to the elevator. "And where do you think you're going?"

"I'm going to learn more about this planet. I'm never going to understand anything if I'm always in this base."

"Fine."

Scun ran out the door and squinted as she adjusted to the sun. She turned on her disguise and walked down the sidewalks. She looked over to a couple of humans, chattering mindlessly. She looked at their hands and saw they were holding leashes and were attached to their furry companions.

"So this is what GIR is trying to replicate…" She whispered. She stared at the animals. They seemed to make the owners so happy. She frowned, thinking of her own sidekick that had self destructed for the safety of his master. She continued on, observing the different buildings and people. She hurried past a homeless man that begged for spare change and a horde of small children playing hopscotch. "I wonder what humans do when they are not tied down with skool or a job." She stood there and contemplated this as she saw the Dib human on the other side of the road. She immediately jolted into the road. Her eyes widened as cars honked violently and she shuffled to get across and not get hit by the oncoming traffic. "Dib! Oh how I have missed your beautiful head!" She jumped up for him to catch her at the last second.

"Scun! What was that? You should know better at this point than to just run through traffic! Besides, why are you in such a hurry to get to me?" Dib tried to drop her, but she held tightly onto his neck, refusing to be put down.

"I am lost, dear Dib. And I need help-"

"Finding your way home?"

"No, finding something to do on this beautiful…um…"

"Saturday?"

"Yes! Saturday! This beautiful Saturday day."

"Well, what would you normally do back where you're from? Where is that again?

Scun paused and desperately tried to remember the name of any country she had seen on the globe in the classroom.

"Yes, back in Canadia we would ask someone we barely knew to accompany us for a day of walking around aimlessly, doing fun Earth things."

"Canadia? You mean Canada?"

"Yes! Canadia is a nickname."

"Since when?"

"Since now, so let's do something."

"Well, I was just going to go over to the mall to see if my new alien handcuffs had been enhanced and ready to be returned to me."

Scun shivered for a moment but then smiled. "Alright, that sounds like fun. But why do you have to go to a huge beating just to get your handcuffs?"

"…No, not a maul but a _mall_. Don't you have those in Canada?"

"Yes. We do! It was a joke! So which way is the mall?"

"You're very strange, you know that?"

"I know…" Scun let go of Dib and fell on her own two feet. Seeing her so dejected, Dib gave her a friendly pat on the back.

"Relax, I'm just kidding with you. Besides, this is the longest I've talked to someone without any comments about my head or my sanity." Scun lit up again. Dib walked her over to the mall, explaining different methods of capturing ghosts on the way over.

"So then, once the spirit wind chime makes a sound and the EMF Detector is disrupted, you know the ghosts are in the room?"

"Exactly. The rest is just the fight and catching them."

"That sounds difficult."

"Oh it is." The two stood in front of the mall as the doors automatically opened. Walking inside, Scun analyzed her surroundings. It was an impressive sized building with brightly lit stores everywhere.

"So where do we need to go?"

"It's a store called Paranormal Paraphernalia. It's on the second floor."

"Alright." Scun and Dib got on the escalator and went up to the second floor.

"Do you want anything to eat? The food here is way better than the government issued food at the skool." Scun paused for a moment and flashed back to eating GIR's chicken legs and shivered.

"You know, I think I'll pass."

"Here, just try this." Dib purchased two lemonades on a stick and handed her one.

"Oh really, I couldn't!"

"Just trust me, would you?"

Scun took a long look at the frozen treat curiously. "It doesn't have any explosive substances in it does it?"

"It's frozen lemonade."

"Just checking." She licked the lemonade and waited for the explosive repercussions. When nothing happened, she smacked her lips and actually enjoyed the flavor. "It's kind of like a snack!"

Dib laughed. "Surely you've had this back in Canada."

"Nope. Never. I'm a picky eater."

"Yeah, I can see that. Now, hang on. They relocated the store and I just want to make sure we are going the right way." Dib stopped and looked over at a mall map carefully. Scun waited next to him. Bored, she looked off into the distance when a bright light caught her eye in the parking garage. Curious, she walked closer when multiple bony arms reached out and pulled her into the garage in one quick swoop. "Okay Scun, we're close we just hav…Scun?" Dib looked around and into the distance. There was a moderate crowd of people and he couldn't see her at all. He frowned, not sure whether she had gotten lost, taken or just wanted to ditch him. Any way he looked at it, he didn't like the answer. Unsure of what to do, he shrugged and continued to walk the mall alone.

Dib threw out the leftover stick from the lemonade. He shoved his hands in his pockets and whistled casually. He had been used to spending time alone. He'd do anything to get away from Gaz and all the insufferable skool children. He was excited to finally get his alien handcuffs back. He sent them in to be upgraded with a thirty five percent stronger electrical charge and a sensor that reveals when an alien is within five feet of him. It helped to assure he wasn't shocking a normal human being by mistake. He walked into the store and took a deep breath in. He loved being surrounded by other paranormal investigators and paranormal fanatics. Even if they were still ignorant, they at least didn't judge his passion. He picked up a book on the Loch Ness Monster, brought it to the counter and pressed his hand on a scanner to verify his pickup order. He looked at the tall and lanky cashier who had greasy blonde hair and a bad acne problem. He gave the book to him to ring it up. Dib quickly paid for his things and walked away.

"I sure hope Scun got home safely." Dib thought as he started making his way for the exit. He normally didn't care what happened to his peers but Scun was one of the first people to treat him at least somewhat like a human being. "Crap! I have to get home! Mysterious Mysteries will be coming on soon! It's the final part of the chase for the Wererabbit!" Dib bolted and made his way home.


End file.
